My Quest for Authenticity and Connectedness

A few years ago I went on an authentic quest. I like the word quest. When life is not feeling how I know it’s supposed to feel, or one aspect is holding me back, I go on a quest to learn. You know, we are supposed to be forever learners. Who ever said that when you get to 50 you stop learning.

There is something in our world, conditioning is what I always go back to, that says we should stop trying. Gosh, let’s not do that please. My Dad is an example of this. He just turned 90 and he is still reading books, he is still having conversations to learn about others, he is out in his community getting involved and socializing. He has told me for so long, that he has watched his friends and coworkers retire….and die. Sorry to be so blunt but I am not sorry actually. I want you to realize you are just getting started if you choose to believe that.

This really ignited something in me when he first told me this. I remember years ago, I would ask him what his secret was, that all my friends were asking what his longevity secret was. He always said “get involved”. Now, yes he does movement every morning and I mean every morning. 40 minutes on the treadmill, he has a body weight routine, hops on his antique stationary bike for a few minutes and moves his legs fast, then stretches and does some Wim Hoff breathing. He doesn’t even know who Wim Hoff is haha, but he made it up along the way. Oh and for those of you in your 50s and 60s reading this, Dad started exercising at 78 after his open heart surgery. So it’s never too late to start.

Back to my authentic quest. If you know me well, when I hear someone say “no one is being real online”, it’s all a highlight reel, I get something in my head that is “I will do what no one is doing”. When I was in network marketing back in 2015 and live video was just starting on Facebook, one of the leaders would say “no one is using LIVE video, this is an opportunity to stand out”. Now, why am I like this? It’s just who I am. When someone says “do this to stand out” I say yes. When I am at an event and they are looking for a volunteer, I put my hand up. I am a front row girlie. It’s just who I am. You may not be like this, but that is okay. 

I just want to share a bit of the back story so you understand why I go on quests.

I believe we are all born with a gift…and it’s our job in our life, to go deep into self discovery to find that gift, or gifts. One of mine, I know, is speaking and being a leader. And from my Human Design chart, it’s writing there too.  I am not afraid to speak in front of a room. Often, if you have been at these events, they ask you to think of what you loved to do and what was easy in high school. For me, you may be surprised, I was head of student council and I lead a yearly conference. I was a leader, it was natural, didn’t feel odd, just felt like me.

So it’s why I lead events now. I lost this part of me as many of us do through having babies and forget who we truly are, but I am proof that we can come back to our true nature. If you do the inner work. If you go inward more and hang out in your own inner room to ‘hear’ your own wise self, your soul’s voice, you will start to be guided back to the truth of who you are.

Going to so many events lately, I have had the opportunity to speak to so many women. And I mean, so many. I think I have been in 5 different event rooms since February.

After these events, I have heard some women say they like my energy, that I am the real deal. I say this here not to show off, but to show that this inner work, it works. I have worked on my inside energy. I remember on that quest I would hear ‘you don’t manifest what you want, you manifest who you are”. I sat with that over and over. I learned more and learned more and I found it…ah the energy I carry is directly related to my thoughts and beliefs about myself, others and the world. 

Ah, the energy I put out all starts with me. So if I am walking into a room judging myself or judging others, or fearful, that energy is felt by others. I really want everyone to get this. We all have sneaky thoughts from our upbringing, our conditioning…it’s there, but we have to override the negative. We have to consciously become aware of what is happening in our minds so we can adjust our thoughts in the moment. This takes ongoing work, but I will say, it’s the most rewarding work I have ever done.

Surrounding myself with other people doing this work also has been a huge piece to the puzzle. When I am with other people who have done coaching, are coaches, and live this work, the conversation is different. Truly, it’s different. It’s enlightening. It’s empowering. It’s fun and powerful. This is where I love to hang out. I love talking about visions, and dreams and what women daydream about…what the thing that keeps calling them is….this kind of conversation lights me up.

We all have big magical ideas come in. I believe we all do. Some of us are so caught in our human we are not hearing the message. But for those who are doing the slow down work and the spiritual connection work and you are hearing those ideas….I ask….are you acting on them? 

We are all worthy of abundance and unconditional love and infinite possibilities…and that’s what that calling is all about. It’s to lead you there and it’s not supposed to be logical.

I know some of you are like me and you are acting on them. But I also know some of you are not acting. You are hesitating. And I would guess why….probably because you don’t have anyone to talk to about these big visions and dreams. Or maybe you talk about it and it’s not the right audience and they look at you like you are crazy or have horns coming out of your head. Yes I know, I was there.

So you need to surround yourself with new people who want to talk about manifesting dreams and living their best life and are willing to get vulnerable and truthful with what is in the way and be willing to move through it with love and light and playfulness in mind and are not afraid to work through some hard things.

One of my daydreams for a while has been doing a group photoshoot event. Yes, an event. But I hadn’t had a photoshoot in 10 years so I wanted to see how this one photographer was with me and how I felt and then I would think about building this event. If you have read some of my previous blogs, the low down from the photoshoot is there. 

It was epic. And I felt a bit of stress choosing clothing and not knowing what to expect. But the photographer was so great. She sent me emails every few days to prepare me slowly. She sent me outfit suggestions and I went to stores and asked for help (not my usual, but it’s a muscle for us all to strengthen). At the photoshoot, she made me feel so comfortable. I let my energy lead me when she was taking pictures. I do this self-talk within me at these times that relaxes me and allows me to be my most authentic self. My true self is fun and goofy and bold and loving. Yes all in one. I hid some of these sides at times and she brought it out of me. 

And since I believe fun is the energy of miracles, the fun piece to this day was wonderful. Getting my hair and makeup done made me feel pampered, nurtured and like a Queen.

We get to feel like Queens….that’s another new belief I have now.

My dad always has taught me to get dressed and get dressed up as it makes you feel better. I resisted it for so long as I was more of an athletic tom boy in my childhood…I know for some of you it’s hard to believe. But my trueness is now coming out….I feel more confident in my own skin now at 55 and am not afraid to say a good blow dry is magic for this gal. I used to think it was a waste of money, just for vanity metrics…but friends…OMG please stop listening to others and start following what makes you feel fantastic. I now get blow dries twice a month, sometimes more;)

I get to let those artists express themselves creatively and I get to feel fantastic. And I am circulating money which is a new belief of mine now…money is infinite and it is energy and energy is to be moved and circulated.

Okay, so my quest for deeper conversations with women, authentic conversations, showing up as love and light from within…lettting your energy fill a room to raise the vibration…that’s where I am now and it’s an incredible place to be. I compliment women when I think of it. I express love when I think of it. I adjust my own thoughts when I feel lack or down. I get curious about other people and their lives. I am always working to raise my vibrational energy all day everyday.

It’s why I finally planned that group photoshoot. I want women to see what’s possible. I want you all to see, when you get that call and answer it, taking one step at a time, magic can happen. And magic to me is where people come together in community and feel connected and joyful and alive and are served at the highest good, whatever that is for them.

I booked that group photoshoot for the end of May, if you are curious, do reach out, only 2 spots left. The women signed up so far are over 55 like me…so I am looking for women in this age group…everyone gets 30 minutes with the photographer in the spotlight while the rest of us support her, and have connected and abundant conversations. We will spend the day together, have a lovely lunch and just share in good energy. 

And my ask for you today, is to please follow that calling….please work on adjusting your thoughts away from self judgement and know you are worthy of so much more than you realize. Go do something that feels luxurious for yourself…it’s so needed for us women especially….we are natural caregivers, so we must, and I say must care for ourselves first and the most. 

You are worthy of it all. Peace, love, abundance…all of it.

Love

Binu